I was having a discussion with a coworker this afternoon about how the experience I will obtain here seems like a condensed version of what would take about two years time in the working world. I have been given more responsibility than ever before and it’s not because no one else was willing to do the work, it’s because I was chosen for it. With so much on my plate, I will quickly learn time and task management for both myself and a coworker. With guided help of my supervisor, my strengths and weaknesses will be highlighted, worked on, and refined.
This particular discussion was sparked from a very emotionally driven reaction to the amount of work that has been handed off to me and the numerous hurdles that are making the learning curve more like a learning climb. My personal computer broke last week, the loaner computer does not have the mandatory Adobe software needed, the only usable computer has been stuck in the hands of IT, last minute projects have fallen onto my shoulders, unexpected wifi failure has crept into the mix and the 28 hours of allotted time does not seem to be nearly enough.
Through verbally processing this I heard myself question my desire to be here. I felt my lack of motivation to press through this and see what might come from it. How and why should I be asking people to support this? Why would anyone want to stand behind the cause of something that has put so much stress and emotions onto another?
But I’ve learned emotions are the fruit of passion. My reaction to the chaos of this transition tells me I’m actually right where I need to be. Perhaps this is why I was chosen for this time and this department. I desire to do my job in such a way that when the revolving door comes to my end and another’s beginning there will be nothing that causes that door to slow down or jam.
“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope.”
Romans 5:3-4
How will a person ever know their own strength if they are never tested? I’ve accepted this season in The Fellowship as a test. I was not invited here to quit. I was invited here to thrive, to grow, to add my own two cents and to leave this place better then I found it.
If you would like to be a part of this test, I’m inviting you in. I need your help, your motivation and your reassurance. I need prayer and I need to meet my financial deadlines. Please consider how you can help me pass this test.
Next deadline: November 15 – $6,500 | Currently raised: $4,150
